“Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple, and it is also that difficult.”
Warren Bennis, was one of the founders of modern leadership sharing his insights in the now classic book ‘Becoming a Leader’, back om 1989. He believed that leadership was learned, that you were not born into it, and that one of the foundational skills as a leader, is knowing yourself.
Since then, Inner Leadership has become more acceptable. We’ve learnt to uncover our inner why with Simon Sinek, dared to be vulnerable and share our feelings encouraged by Brene Brown, shifted our energy and attitudes with Tony Robbins, discovered our emotional intelligence alongside Daniel Goleman, and recognised the need for psychological safety in order to be seen and heard, with the support of Amy Edmondson.
Learning to be yourself is that simple and that difficult as most leaders haven’t paused to consider who they are, what they are motivated or hindered by, what their personal values are, or even what’s important for them as a leader.
We so often focus on the doing of leadership – supporting others, meeting client needs, balancing the books, operational planning, refining and reviewing best practices, dealing with difficult situations or conversations. All legitimate and necessary activities as a leader. And in the doing, we can forget how to just be – be your authentic self.
Inner Leadership should always be the starting point for any leadership journey. If you don’t know yourself, how can you truly know those around you.
That’s why the first component of our Being and Doing of Leadership, under Inner Leadership programme, is ‘Identity’. As adults we are informed by our past, our present values and beliefs, we’ll have our own unique personality traits and unique communication preferences, as well as a lens on the world filtered by our past.
Not everyone has done the navel-gazing that knowing your true Identity provides. Instead, many leaders behave how they believe a leader should be, based on previous work leaders (both good and bad), and influenced by role models in the media and closer to home. I remember one client who believed that leaders needed to be ‘serious’ and have a ‘no-nonsense’ approach with colleagues. Yet at home, he was the ‘funny dad’, he was relaxed and more flexible. He didn’t realise he could bring that side of him – his true identity into the workplace.
The second component of being an Inner Leader is ‘Self-Acceptance’. Possibly an easier concept for many of us to relate to. However, recognising both your abilities and limitations isn’t always easy, with many leaders having a blind spot over one or the other. Yet, if we asked for a 360 review of colleagues or even friends and family, we’d quickly learn how we actually show up and the impact that has on other people. Several years ago, I did a leadership review and one of my colleagues fed back that whilst it was great that I was so driven, I could make her feel as if she wasn’t needed as I’d take on all the assigned tasks myself, assuming that was helpful to her. When we know what our unique gifts are, we can use them more. And when we uncover our weaknesses, we can train up or delegate to someone better placed. After all, self-acceptance requires us to recognise that we are all ‘perfectly imperfect human beings.’
If you’d like to find out more – here are three options for you:
- Get in touch and ask us about our 6-month Being and Doing of Leadership programme.
- Sign up for the 5 day Leadership Challenge and find out about the five positions of leadership.
- Ask us for our free Inner Leader workbook.