I was honoured to be asked to talk about ‘resilience’ at the inaugural joint Women in Business event on behalf of East Lothian and Midlothian Business Gateway at the start of the year. They wanted me to share some of my business insights on not only starting a business, but having the stamina, skills and sheer determinedness to keep it going for over 20 years.

As this is the third time around in business – my first as a cleaner in the US, then marketing support in Edinburgh – I felt I had a few life lessons on ‘how to’ and ‘how not to’ do it.  One of the key points seemed to resonate with the female founded business audience, that of creating a ‘crew of cheerleaders.’

For those of us working in the field of coaching, having a cheerleader is common language, yet for many of us it’s still a new concept.  What I shared was that for many of us setting up and growing our business can feel a very lonely existence.  We may have jumped at the chance of working for ourselves, but hadn’t realised that we do need company, a support network to not only bounce our ideas from, but who would also encourage us beyond our perceived limits.

What cheerleaders offer is a wonderful natural chemical mix of motivation.  Having someone listen, reflect and encourage us gives us a mood boost, flooding our bodies with feel-good serotonin as well as an oxytocin hit as we connect and feel part of something bigger than just ourselves.  Cheerleaders help us set our personal bars high and are there to share with the joy and the tears, helping us celebrate whatever the outcome, giving us a natural dose of dopamine and an overall sense of pleasure via our endorphins.

Actively seeking out our crew of cheerleaders helps us in our darkest moments, and being self-employed you never quite know when they will come.  And there is more we can do for ourselves, as well as external cheerleaders, the possibly harder task, is to learn how to be your own loudest cheerleader.

In the UK, many of are still not comfortable about singing our own praises.  We often listen to our ‘inner critics’ who suggest that we are being:

  • “Too big headed”.
  • “That others can do far more and better and faster and smarter than we can”.
  • “That possibly we’re not really as good as we make ourselves out to be”.

We can choose to listen to these internal nay-sayers, or instead work on our ‘Brag Board’ and remind ourselves how far we’ve come and why we deserve to dream big.  Your Brag Board is made up of facts and feelings:

  • Facts about your past achievements and successes.
  • Reminders of milestones you not only reached, but have surpassed.
  • And memories of when you did great, or tried something new and it worked and how that made you feel.
  • Even reflections on failures and the wonderful lessons you gained, simply by giving it a go.
  • Or flashbacks of peak moments when you felt amazing, invincible and how the world was just waiting for you.

You can create a physical Brag Board with images, photos, words and mementos.  Or create a virtual Brag Board that you can revisit in your mind’s eye. It’s up to you – you can listen to your inner critic or your inner coach and learn to be your own cheerleader..  And let’s not forgot the role of a coach as an external cheerleader.