We were very fortunate to inherit a cooking apple tree in our garden. Some years we’ve had an abundance of fruit, and then other times, only enough to make the occasional apple crumble. Anyone with fruit trees knows the experience of glut and scarcity, and the knowledge that ‘next year’ will be different.
This year our tree is laden with these red and green-faced beauties, that can enhance any dinner table as a sweet or savoury treat. Unfortunately, my son can’t eat apples and my daughter dislikes hot fruit, so what feels like an abundance of goodness often feels like a burden of responsibility. It’s become an annual headache of what to do with them.
Over the years I’ve made my own cider (not a good experience and one not repeated), done an apple exchange at Thistly Cross, made apple jam (once was enough!), I’ve frozen them, made apple-based cakes, crumbles, and put them in a bucket for neighbours to help themselves. In other words, I’ve tried to be creative and learn from what’s worked and what’s not (my own cider and apple jam comes to mind).
That’s a similar approach for us when we have too much or too little of something in our lives. We need to first ‘accept’ that we are in this situation of lack or loads, in order to open up our mind to creative solutions. For instance, when you don’t get that job offer, or do find out that you’ve got that promotion, worrying about it or deliberating on those ‘what if’ and ‘if only I’ type of conversations causes us to operate from our survival bran and creates more stress and unhappiness for us. By accepting the situation, we can then move on.
The second step is ‘choices’. We can often feel that we have no choices, yet when stop listening to the negative chatter in our minds and look for options, we often find there are more available than we realise. Our RSA (Reticular Activating System) helps us home in on a focus, by filtering out the noise of things that are a distraction. Just think about when you’ve been trying to look for something specific, how much easier it is to find out when you are clear about what you’re looking for. Being clear about what ‘choice’ we want to make, enables us to find more solutions.
Finally, it’s time to take ‘action’ and decide what, when, and how you’re going to move forward. In coaching, action can be something we do, as well as something we reflect upon. This ACA approach – acceptance, choices, and action – a great self-coaching tool to help us navigate our lack and loads, and in my case, too many apples.
If you’d like to explore coaching with Kate, or one of her associates, for a free coaching sample session, get in touch to book your 40-minute caoching session.